I fell off the wagon, vanity was my downfall

Here's the No Poo update from the last week. *Spoiler* At the end, I did fall off the wagon...

Day 4: Didn't get the apple cider vinegar yet. Today was a day off for me, so I took nice long bath. Relaxed and read my Kindle. I just rinsed out my hair and added a little bit of conditioner, diluted, to the ends of my hair. I really expected it to be a greasy mess. I've read that folks have that problem as their scalp naturalizes out. I also get a lank, string, greasy mess if I go more than a day without shampooing. Even if I shampoo the night before, by mid morning, it's starting to get ucky. I actually don't look like I've been a week without a shower. that's how I feel I look if I don't wash it every day. I didn't do the baking soda today.

Day 5: Baking soda again today. I diluted it a lot, and didn't use a paste. My head itches. It feels like a grodey mess when it's wet. Surprisingly, my fingers don't feel all greasy after running them through my hair as I'm "washing" it. I did a little conditioner to the ends again so I could brush it. The static was horrible after it dried. It took a ling time to dry. I don't get that cool, soft, fluffy feeling as it's almost dry and still almost damp. It almost feels like there is a powder coating it. People who have used ear powder in dogs, or quick stop will know what I'm talking about. It feels like that in my hair. I'll be stopping at Wally World on the way home for apple cider vinegar, and 10 mule team borax.

Day 6: Just a light soda/water rinse today. Hot water as I could stand it under the shower. The itching is going away. I've always had a flaky greasy scalp when I don't wash every day. The first inch or so of hair off my scalp feels almost normal. It doesn't feel like some sort of rough powder is coating it. It's not staticky. It sticks to it's self though when I wind it up in a bun.


I have really long hair. Down past the waist band of my jeans. As I joke though, it's only all five strands of it that long. It's also thin. My hair tend to lay lank, and flat to my head by the end of the day. No body, no lift at the roots. I have to keep it wound up in a bun most of the time. I really don't know why I don't cut it short. At work it's up, or it'll get in the way of the scissors, fall into the bath while I'm washing dogs. Outside the wind blows it all over my face and I hate that. Working in the yard it tangles in everything, is in my face. At night it becomes this giant tangle that like to try and choke me in my sleep. When I drive it's pinning my head in place as I lean back on it. So pretty much all the time, I have to keep it up out of my way. I don't know why I don't cut it. when I ride I leave it long down my back. When I go out with Scott I leave it long and fight with it till we get home and I put it up. Leaving it down right now is not an option. It's ugly.


Day 7: No work today. Just a leisurely start to my morning. Coffee... Computer... Shower later, just a light soda/water rinse to my hair. I just wish I could get a brush through it easier. The first inch or so is ok, and the last two inches with the light conditioner through them are ok. It's just the giant snarled mess in the middle. As fast as I brush it all out, as soon as I move, or a puff of air crosses it, it's all tangled again. Those of you with Barbies, or My Little Ponies as kids will understand this reference. Remember when you brushed their hair so much it made this frizzy nasty mess at the end, and no brush would ever go through it again? Well that's how my hair feels. Ugh.


Day 8: I fell off the No Poo wagon. Vanity was my downfall. Today was Valentines day. Every day I fought with my hair saying to myself, it's only been so many days, I promised to give it two weeks.... Every day I swore this was the last day. Then I'd get out of the shower, let my hair air dry, and twist it in a bun as soon as I got ready to leave for work. I came home today, and realized I had to go out in PUBLIC looking like gak. At work I don't care. Bun, wisps sticking out all over are the norm. It's VALENTINES DAY and I'm trying to look nice fore my hubby. I don't want to wear my hair in a bun looking like I forgot to brush it before I twisted it up. I want to leave ti down, all the way down my back. So I caved. I stuck my head under the spigot in the tub, and used commercial shampoo and conditioner. I even blow dried it. I haven't used a blow drier on my hair in years. *GASP* I had lift though. I had a little bit of body to my hair. I had the light fluffy want to run my fingers through my hair feeling back. It was shiny. I prolly won't get back on the wagon. I don't have what it takes to wait for the natural oils to work all the way through the length of hair I have. Maybe one day if I ever cut it. I will use the soda/water combo occasionally to strip the build up out of my hair.

I'm home. Only bad to spend 8 days in the hospital this time, instead of 12, so I got off early. I'm getting a million "What happened?" questions, and I don't mind dishing the details. Again I was an ass and tried holding out going to the ER till the last minute. At least it wasn't the last dying minuet this time. I'd been having a lot of lower abdominal pain starting the Thurs before I gave in and went. Rode my horse, and went to work for two days in pain bad enough that they gave up shooting me in the arm, and gave me the button I could push every ten minuets. Yeah, color me stubborn. In my defense, I already had a Doc appt on Mon, and I was trying to hold out until then. I did pack a bag when I drove myself to the ER, knowing they were going to most likely keep me. Again, color me stubborn, I wouldn't let Scott take me. I was right, they admitted me, after giving me the "We're going to test you for this type of cancer, and three others." That scared me a little. Turns out all this crap wasn't related to the Crohns disease problems I'm already going through. Stupid ovarian cyst the size of a softball was on my right ovary. Since I'd just recently had surgery to take out 16cm of small intestine, they couldn't go in laproscopiclly to fix it. They had to open me up all over again from my belly button down. 25 staples later, a lot of pain later, and I'm home, all better, except for the recovery. Scott and I are arguing over that I want to be a hard ass and go back to work after two weeks off, and he wants me to take off the six the docs say I should. We'll see who wins this time. lol. Anywho, I'm home.

Went to the Doc's yesterday to get the staples out. Good thing since I already popped two. He said they were More than ready to come out. the skin was already healing under and around them. It's only been 9 days since I got out of the hospital. Tues Sept. 13th is when I had the surgery. I'm healing a million times faster this time than I did the last surgery. Heather was still driving me around three weeks later because I couldn't drive. I barely got up and shuffled around a few times a day. Didn't get to sleep in my own bed until almost two weeks after i got home. this time I got out on a Mon, was driving by Thurs. sleeping in my own bed the second night. Walking all over, moving the horses, did the irrigation the other day. I'm still taking the painkillers mind you, but I'm so much better.  


We got most of our hay. Four ton of grass, a ton and a half of alfalfa right now, with one more ton of alfalfa coming. Scott and Jess got most of the grass stacked before my hospital staycation, and when Everyone was over this last weekend for Maria's first b-day so the boys helped Scott unload the alfalfa off the trailer and stack it when they were here. Jess and I helped Scott get the tarps over it. 

 Trip to Blackfoot Fair

maria's 1st Bday

And here's some pics I've been a slacker about getting up. Camping above Sun Valley.

Inflamed appendix?

I had to go in for another CT scan July 22nd. Seems I'm not healing like I should. I still shouldn't need this many painkillers. In the bathroom way too many times a day. Got the results back the 25th. Seems I have an inflamed appendix. The only thing though... They took out my appendix when they did my emergency surgery for my blockage. o.O WTF? Soooo, I had another Doc appt Aug 3rd. /sigh

So I went to the doc's. Pretty much went as I expected. I've dropped another six pounds. That makes 22 pounds since I was admitted in the hospital May 23. The good news is that I haven't been under 150 pounds in YEARS. The bad news is, it's because my intestines aren't responding to the medication. The "inflamed appendix," is just the resection site. It's still inflamed, and producing fluid. It's about a baseball size. The bad spot was where the two intestines come together and the appendix used to be. We're pretty sure I still have some infection. I left the hospital with the infection. I didn't think about it, but they kept taking my temp after the painkillers. Duh, fever reducers. After I got home, as they would wear off I'd get horribly chilled, ache in my back and hips, then after I took them an hour later I was so hot and all sweaty, ick. And... I might have picked up the C.Diff bug while I was in the hospital. Great... Prolly not, but yay me, I get to poop in a cup. Can you say Gross. I knew better, I so knew better than to think that once the "bad spot" in my intestines was gone, all the Crohns crap would go away. Something triggered the Crohns to go active after being in remission for ten years. It just attacked the weakest link, the place there was already swelling and a lot of old scar tissue. It's still triggered on, so I'm still having intestinal issues. I had more blood work done, I'm pretty damn anemic, and had a T.B. test done. I might need Remicade treatments. That's what kicked the Crohns in the donkey last time. I go to I.V. out patient once every 6 weeks for an infusion of medication. I'm on huge horse pill antibiotics to go with the pentasa I take two of, four times a day, three diff types of painkillers I take in different combination depending on the pain, the 6MP that's a anti leukemia drug that works wonders on Crohns. Good news, there isn't any prednisone in that mix. I hate that shit.

What a slacker

April since I was last here. Alot of things have happened to contribute to my delinquency. Mostly it's was my guts. I have Crohns Disease. I had a massive flare up in the end of May. I didn't realise I'd been having a problem with Crohns. I thought I'd been having a run of being sick and have the flu since the end of last year. I kept getting a fever, and body aches. One time I thought I had the stomach flu the end of Dec. Looking back, it was a flare up with a partial obstruction in my intestines. The end of this May my brother-in-law was over Bar-B-Queing for us. He made steaks with sauted onion, mushrooms, and wild asperagus we'd picked. We also had corn on the cob roasted on the grill. The only thing out of all that I really should have eaten was the steak. Of course I had some of all of it. It was soo yummy. I'd also been drinking a bit more than I should have. I know alcohal messes with the Crohns.

Mon morning after all this food, my stomach was gurgling like Crazy as I got up to get in the shower. I almost didn't make it out of the shower before I had to go to the bathroom. I felt a little like Ick, but a friend of mine was coming through Idaho on his way back home, and promised to stop by at work and say hi for a half hour or so. And I'm dumb enough to need to be bleeding from the head before I call out sick from work. I felt mostly ok till I got about half way to Jerome. I had to pull off the side of the highway to throw up. Jess was with me and thought it was totally gross. When I got to work I had to heave again. I thought I just had a hangover from the Mike's Hard I had the night before. Why I thought that I'll never know, because I don't get sick at my stomach with a hang over. All the food I'd had te night before all came back up. None of it was digested, none of it seemed to have passed through my stomach to my intestines.

At work I stayed out in the truck while Jess went in. I thought I just needed to ick the seat back and lay still for a little while and I'd be fine. The first dog came in, and I stayed out there. Occasionally I'd be sick to my stomach again. I did come in when Quix pulled up. We visisted for about half an hour. I was queasy and my stomach hurt the whole time, but I ignored it. After he left Jess washed my dog while I got sicker and sicker. I tried to start grooming it, but the pain was becoming unbearable, and I was still throwing up. About 3/4 of the way through the dog I had Jess call Scott and tell him I needed him to come get me. I was too sick to stay. I changed that to I Need to go to the HOSPITAL NOW, when he got there. Andrea came with im, and drove my truck home while Scott took me to Gooding County ER.

Die first before you ever decide to go to Gooding County. Seriously. They are good for things like broken bones, and stitches, but usless for things like I had going on. The CT scanned me, said I might have a blockage, definatly a swelling in my intestines. No GI meds, no anti inflamitories. Just loads of pain killers and some antibiotics. I was bloating so badly it hurt to breath. I layed there and cried alot from the pain. After three days they decided to do a surgery consult. I'd had a physical therapist come and make me walk up and down the hallways, and see if I could get up stairs on my own in case they sent me home. I don't remember alot of it. So much pain meds, and so much pain.

Scott decided he'd had enough of County's lack of doing anything for me. He and Honey Jo came and had me sign myself out of the hospital. They were taking me to Twin Falls. It was their brand new hospital. They had GI docs on staff. I went in through the ER, got admittted, CT scanned again, X rays, and sure enough I had a complete obstruction, and my intestines had perforated. I was leaking nasty stuff into my guts. I had a nasty infection and was not far from going septic. By now I was so bloated, and in so much pain, my diaphram couldn't expand and I was having trouble breathing. I was on oxygen. They realized I was having an allergic reaction to the Morphine. I was trying to itch all the skin off my face. It was Wednesdy afternoon, and they scheduled me for surgery Thurday morning.

I remember going into the operating room. Laying down flat with my legs stretched out was agonizing. The mask they put over my face was cutting off all my air. I was crying and bout to panic right the fuck out. When I had surgeries before, they gave me something to make me tired and relax me. Not this time. The nurse had ahold of my throat to help keep it open as I went under and I felt like I was choking. I remember shifting my jaw over enough that there was a gap between the mask and my face, and I could feel fresh air coming in. I think that was the only thing keeping me from full panic mode and trying to get off the table. I was about three seconds from being hysterical when I finally went under.

Waking up sucked ass. I remember coming to a few times with tears leaking out of my closed eyes. I hurt so incredibly bad. Another shot and out I went. I don't remember getting back to my room. I don't remember Scott or being in recovery. I remember waking up in pain again in my room, in my bed, ice packs on my stomach. I don't think there was a time when I was awake the whole 12 days I was in there when I was pain free, even for half an hour. The gas was building up in my guts and it stabbed through me all the time. Every deep breath, walking, lying down, it didn't matter. I was having issues with having to pee. I had a huge urgency to go, but I couldn't go. I had to have pills to controll the bladder muscle spasms. My guts took alot longer than they figured they would to start working again. I was afraid to eat anything for fear of getting blocked up again.

I tried to get off the pain meds as fast as I could. I don't think he would have said that if he could feel the agaony I was in. Get up and walk. The more you walk, the faster you can get out of here. Every time he came in, I was trying so hard to keep it together. Not let on how much I was hurting. Be strong. Tough it out. Walk, walk, walk. I'd be walking the halls continuously through the night. I was in too much pain to sleep. I'd start to fall asleep walking, and come to as my knees buckled, still walking down the hall.

I had issues with the IV. It started to leak. Not blood, but all the meds they were pumping into me. I had an idiot just out of training nurse who didn't read my chart right. I was allowed 1-2 pain pills every 4 hours, and one shot every 2. I was nauseous, and she couldn't give me anthing by IV for it. I wasnt allowed another pain pill she said. No more pain meds for two hours. She was stupid. I was allowed another pill, and she should have given me a shot before we started playing with the IV. It took three hours, and 8 people to get my IV restarted. I just layed there and cried. They blew so many of my veins. I was stuck about 22 more times in three hours. My arms were bruised like I'd been beaten. And Scott wondered wy I was such an emotional wreck when he came to see me.

I cried over everything. Just watching the TV, there was a show about women finding out they were pregnant, and having their babies on Discovery channel. Just watching one woman in pain through delivery was enough to make me start sobbing at the remembered pain of what I just went through. No fucking wonder I cried at everything.

So I'm watching TV tonight and I see one of those, call our lawyers offices and let us sue for you!!  It's for a recall on Darvon and Darvocet. It's been causing heart issues up to and including death. I look it up on the interwebz, and it was just recalled by the FDA Nov 20th of this year. Do you know how many of those little pink pills I've taken in the last three years from the nerve damage after getting attacked by that Rottie?!? 
http://www.classaction.org/darvon-and-darvocet.html Arg. I go back to the cardiologist Jan 4th to review all the damned tests I've had recently. EKG, Echo cardiogram, three rounds of blood work, sleep apnea test, peed in a jug for 24 hours, ct scan..............

my misbehaing heart saga

Thought I was having a heart attack Oct 20th. Guess not, as they let me go home.  Had the flu two weeks ago. Got better for a few days. Thought I came back down with it again Sat night. Heart did some crazy, relearning how to beat stuff, made me cough when it hit my lungs. Then I puked, got back in bed and back to sleep. No sore throat, no head cold, no cough. Just fever, body ache. Felt better Wed finally. Body ache started in the back of my hips, and worked upwards to my middle back, to head and neck yesterday. No headache today, yay! Round 11-ish headache is back. Take two generic ibuprofen. Noon-ish and I feel nauseous. Start dry heaving, nothing really comes up. I start feeling a little odd. Like my heart feels like its beating very hard/fast, but I'm sitting reading a book and it's 88bpm. Then I get that feeling like after you've had a diet pill, or a benedryl and the loopy wears off and you're twice as wired. I'm feeling rather like I've been hyperventilating, but I'm breathing normally, even slow. My upper body is hot and feeling odd. Almost like lactic acid is building up, but I'm not working the muscles. I'm a little tingly, dizzy-ish. I call my boss up at the house to ask her to come out to the shop to see if I'm a weenie and it's all in my head, or if something is wrong. Suddenly it's everything I can do to reach over and pick up the phone. My arms are so tired. She's not up at the house, and I start crying suddenly. I am the most calm person in a situation I know. Hell I drove myself to the ER after getting attacked by the rottie. She's on her way back to town. I'm sitting there and realizing I really can move my left arm. I can, but it's SO tired and just flops back down. I'm staring off at the wall and realize I'm having a conversation with myself in my head. "You really should take a breath now... Breath in... In and out now..." I just really had no inclination to breath. So I called 911. Balled out crying again to the operator, even though I was trying to be calm. Boss showed up, shortly followed by the sheriff. First Responders. Get my oxy. I never passed out. Shaking like a leaf all over, but not cold. Chest hurts, not bad, just seriously uncomfortable. Load me on the gurney, mask over my face. Breaths shallow, blood ox at like 98. It dips down to 94 or lower when the mask is off, but I really don't feel like breathing and I'm taking very shallow breaths. He feeds me a handful of chewable aspirin. It does help a little. Show up at the hospital, IV in arm. Same questions Ive answered five times. Nitro tabs under the tongue. Damn those things burn. Headache starts. Pain settles down and moves more into the center of my chest. Another nitro tab to burn under my tongue. Demerol, and Adavan. They think it's just anxiety. I have more wired hooked to me. CT scan of my head and my chest. X-Rays of the chest. And then they say they don't think I had a heart attack. Maybe some sort of mini stroke. Don't see any evidence of anything. All the blood comes back normal. So they send me home. I have to go back at 7:00am for more blood work enzyme stuff. Heart attack my not always show up straight away, and may not show on EKG. Brilliant day.

Followed up with my normal family doc a week later. He wants me to wear a Holter monitor for 24 hours. Gies me a script for Atavan.  The sticky pads on those things make me itch like crazy after about 13 hours.

Got a call from my Doc's office Fri. They finally have the results from my Holter Monitor test. I had to wear one of those 24 hour heart monitors. It was annoying. I was a bit concerned since it was the nurse calling saying I needed to come in for the results, if it were nothing she just would have said over the phone. At the same time I was a little not worried because the hospital said if they found anything bad, they would call the doc instead of waiting for him to give me the results. For the last three weeks I've been taking Atavan every time I feel my heart beating too hard, or adrenaline flooding my system. I can only take them in halves, or I'm stoopid, sitting on the couch and drooling.

Hit the Doc's office at 4:00pm. So I really did have an issue with my heart, and it wasn't all in my head. Normally resting, not doing anything heartbeat per min is around 70-80. While working out aerobically you want it to hit around 120 bpm. My resting doing nothing but reading a book was hitting 140! At night while I was sleep is would get back down to high 70's but was up over 115 once. As soon as I woke up I was over 100. Afternoon and early evening was when it was hitting 120, 140. We asked, Scott went with me so I didn't forget anything, and he has some knowledge of the way the body works, if it was anxiety and my head was getting into it too much. I kept complaining the I didn't want to breath. Scott thought I was just over thinking it. Doc says no, not anxiety. If it was, he would expect to see random episodes, when I was awake. Hit, and go away. My rapid heartbeat was lasting hours. And while I asleep. I kept a journal, when I felt weird or an adrenaline dump, I wrote it down. Unfortunately it didn't correlate with my heart being weird on the monitor. 

I asked so what happens if I just ignore it, don't do anything about it. Learn to just live with, or ignore the adrenaline, and the not wanting to breath. He said it's not going to kill me. Soon anyhow. Basically I'm hyperventilating without breathing any harder, and my body is trying to slow it down. With the rapid heartbeat I'm getting too much oxygen. My heart is working overtime and working under too much strain. So I won't die tomorrow, but the added strain is bad. 

He said to let's try putting me on beta blockers to slow my heartbeat down, and help the heart work more efficiently. Atenolol is what I'm on. I can only take half of one at a time because my blood pressure is already really low. It makes me a little tired, and a bit light headed. I have to try this for two weeks. If I don't feel any better, I have to see a cardiologist. My Dad thought of a really good question I didn't think of. Is the rapid heart beat causing the adrenaline dump? Or is it something making me have too much adrenaline that's making the heart beat fast, and I'm just covering that underlying cause with the beta blockers, while the original problem continues. ugh.

Went to the cardiologist Tues morning the 29th. I liked him. He listened to everything I had to say, took notes, and went back over everything to make sure we had it all. I didn't feel rushed, or like he already had an opinion and didn't need to listen to what I thought. I had another EKG, and an echo cardiogram. He even did it that morning in the office after I mentioned I was worried about ending up like a Hallmark movie. Sorry, you have a virus in your heart and now you're going to be dead. Size, shape, and function was all normal. I felt my family doc wasn't really concerned with my question, is the extra adrenaline causing the rapid heart rate, or the heart causing the adrenaline. Next time I don't open my bog mouth. I got to pee in a cup for 24 hours and keep it in a jug in my fridge. Had more blood work. All checking for the adrenaline level in my blood. I have a CT scan scheduled for Mon to check out my adrenal glands. He also had a finger pulse ox machine delivered to my house to measure if I stop breathing during the night. Since I've started the beta blockers I've noticed I wake up gasping like I haven't been breathing for a little bit. He also put me on Singular to help me breathe easier, and a different beta blocker that seems to work better.  He really seemed concerned with the way my heart is misbehaving. It's like if you're panting fast, your lungs never get a chance to really expand and push a lot of oxygen through. Well he said my heart is doing the same thing. Most people don't hit 125bpm when exercising, and I'm pushing 140. Not good. Not good at all. The new beta blockers get me down though. Lying in bed trying to fall asleep while my heart feels like it's going to beat out of my chest, I take my pulse and it's only at 62bpm. I'm guessing it's finally getting the chance to expand all the way, so it feels like it's beating really heard. My blood pressure was 109/68 at the docs and I felt like my heart was beating crazy hard, but the pressure said not so much.